Sand, Sun and Sea
by AnthroQueen
Summary: 30 drabbles chronicling the blossoming relationship between James Ford and Juliet Burke. A 30kisses challenge.


**Hi Losties! I never really thought I'd keep writing for Lost, to be honest. But I can't quit this show and I found this awesome theme set on LiveJournal so I thought, why not? I'm obsessed with Lost and with Sawyer and Juliet's relationship so, well, here it is. I don't expect anyone to read this, honestly. It's long and I don't even know if anyone still checks this section. But we'll give it a shot, yes?**

**Constructive criticism is always welcome! I don't own LOST or any of its characters. This is List Kappa/water on the 30kisses challenge, which I will be more than happy to share the link with you, if you want. FanFiction won't let me post it here. This**** was super fun to write, so I hope you enjoy!**

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Sand, Sun and Sea

~* A 30kisses Challenge *~

**01- sand**

The first thing he sees when he ambles out of the ocean is the empty beach. He hasn't made it to their camp; the sand is fresh and untracked, the trees thick and swaying in the mid afternoon breeze. There's nothing on the beach but solitude, a few clumps of seaweed clotting the shore and a buoyant chunk of driftwood floating uselessly beside them. Something, however, catches the sunlight and when James squints, looks closer, he realizes it's a bottle of Dharma rum being upended by none other than Juliet. Her features are worn and tired; she doesn't acknowledge him when he approaches her, salty seawater dripping off his half-naked body as he sinks into the sand beside her.

"Nice day for a swim," He teases and her eyes lift slightly to meet his, not at all pleased or displeased to see him.

Her voice is hollow when she answers. "What are you doing here?"

"Decided to take a dip," He responds lightheartedly, ignoring the fact that she can most likely see right through him. He nods towards the bottle of rum, halfway full and halfway gone. "What'cha celebratin'?"

Juliet tips the bottle towards her lips again before deadpanning, "I'm not celebrating."

He finally follows her eye line towards the horizon, where a billowing black cloud of smoke is funneling into the sky. His eyes widen; he understands, now. "Is that our boat?"

She gives him a mirthless smile. "It was."

James watches the crystalline blue water lap at the sandy shore, shoots a sidelong glance at Juliet, and wonders how in the hell he's supposed to survive here now. She's drawing absentminded patterns in the velvet sand beside her, her other hand still grasping the neck of the bottle of rum firmly. She doesn't say anything else, but she doesn't have to, really. James is sure the last thing she wants is to be stuck on this damn island alone with him. The sky above them seems to open before they can think of what to do next; it turns a bright blue, almost purple, and a piercing sound screams into the air. The island below them seems to rumble, to shudder and vibrate, and before James can think twice, he reaches over and clasps Juliet's hand in a fistful of sand.

The island is moving and he's not sure where they'll end up. But he knows he doesn't want to do this alone.

**02- making waves**

It's 1975 (but it's 2005) and he's seven years old (but he's 37 years old). It's certainly a strange situation, but compared to the fact this island has a giant creature made of black smoke and the people he's been living with for the past year are soon going to be rotting corpses in a ditch, it's nothing. James is still trying to make sense of it all; how he went from being one of forty-eight survivors to one of a handful of people left behind, how he went from being a sly con-man to being head of security, and how he went from missing Kate to living with Juliet.

It's something he didn't see coming until it already happened. One minute, they were frantically running from flaming arrows and avoiding getting shot in a paddle boat, the next they were happily joining the Dharma Initiative and shacking up together. James can't quite place when she became his right hand, his confidante, but he can remember exactly when he fell in love with her. It was that very first night in Dharmaville; the navy blue seawater was sparkling in the moonlight, but it was nothing compared to her own azure eyes. She looked at him with hopelessness and with despair when she explained how badly she wanted to leave. In a momentary panic- because, honestly, what would he do without her? - he somehow managed to convince her to stay.

She promised two weeks, but it's already been a year, and he wonders if she's noticed, since she hasn't mentioned leaving ever since.

"James," Her voice calls from far away. "Are you going to join me or not?"

He glances up and watches as she steps carefully into the cool ocean, the salty water lapping against her ankles, her calves, her thighs. At hip-level, she turns over her shoulder and gives him a sultry look, one he didn't think he'd ever see coming from her, one he's thankful for every day. He abandons his book and their haphazardly thrown together picnic and dives after her, sending an aerial spray of seawater across the surface of the ocean. She grins when he surfaces, wrapping his arms around her waist as oceanic waves ebb and flow around them.

"Blondie," He starts, leaning forward to capture her mouth with his own. "This is the best damn idea you've ever had."

**03- bon voyage**

The sea of tan Dharma jumpsuits makes it difficult to spot him, but eventually she sees James, ducking his head a bit towards Miles in conversation. Just the sight of him makes her insides warm; Juliet finds herself wondering on an island such as this one and considering all that's gone wrong in the past few years how she could possibly be happy. But she is; she's delightfully pleased with her life in Dharmaville- with _their_ life. She heads down to the dock, carefully and apologetically threading through the hordes of people, before coming to stand beside him, wordlessly wrapping an arm around his waist. This draws his attention away from Miles, towards her, his sparkling green eyes meeting her blue ones lovingly. He kisses her temple in greeting and she responds by tightening her grasp on him.

Juliet has never been happier than her time now with James. Still…

They all watch as a few senior members of the Dharma Initiative walk down the dock, waving and crying and saying their final farewells as they climb into the submarine. Three pregnant women are joining them as well; their husbands beside each of them like an anchor as Horace and Radzinsky and a few others wish them well and offer their congratulations. Amy and two of the recruits are holding balloons beneath a hand-made banner reading, "Namaste and Good Luck!" Juliet watches this, watches all of this, and feels a growing pit of melancholy in her stomach. The final departing member climbs lower into the submarine and then the entire Dharma Initiative erupts in applause and catcalls and wolf whistling cheers as it sinks into the greenish-blue ocean, out of sight.

Horace announces cake and ice cream in the rec center and the group begins to dissipate. James turns to go, but Juliet remains anchored in the spot. He glances at her in concern, asking, "You alright, Blondie?"

The sub is already out of sight, somewhere beneath the depths of the ocean, carrying its occupants home. She feels a pang of despair, of loneliness, because she's missed her chance to leave again. _Whatever you think you're going back to_, James had once told her. _It don't exist yet_. It's true; it's December of '76. She's four years old and Rachel's seven. There is no parents' divorce, no cancer, no Julian; not yet, anyway. _That's not a reason not to go_, Juliet had responded. Again, true; anywhere, any time was better than being on this island. Or so she thought.

She glances back at James, at the concern and the worry etched in his features. She'd been trying to get off the island for three, four, now _five_ years. No one had ever made her want to stay. Until now.

"Never better," She replies with a smile and for the first time, it's actually true.

**04- maiden voyage**

It happens almost accidentally; one morning two weeks into their time at Dharmaville, James awakens in a frantic manner, realizing it is the day the next sub goes out towards the mainland and the time Juliet's promised him has come to an end. She hasn't packed anything, but then she hasn't said definitively that she's staying either, so James spends the entire day trying to come up with a reason she needs to stay even longer, to remain here with him. It's crazy, really; he used to lie for a living and yet here he is, unable to come up with a better excuse than _I need you stay here with me because I've never needed anyone more in my life_.

The sub is set to leave at eight p.m. on the dot. At six forty-five, James strolls purposefully through Dharmaville and towards her sunny yellow home, knocking a few times before letting himself in the front door. He finds her in the back bedroom, tossing a few shirts carelessly into a duffle bag at the foot of the bed. She smells like the sunshine, like the ocean, like the salty sea air and James wonders how he hasn't noticed this already. Frowning, he leans against the door frame and asks, "Where do you think you're going, Blondie?"

She's a bit startled by his voice, but glances up and meets his eyes anyway, smirking, "Blondie? That's the best nickname you can come up with? A little unoriginal, don't you think?"

"Well it's only been two weeks," James defends. "These things take time, ya know."

Juliet pulls away from the closet and crosses her arms over her chest. "You seemed to come up with everyone else's nicknames pretty quickly, James. What makes me so different?"

Something in his chest tightens when she asks this question and he responds with, "I guess you'll never know if you're leavin' tonight."

She smiles softly, asking, "Are you gonna convince me to stay?"

"I'm just sayin' if you leave tonight, you're going to miss out on that dinner I have planned," He's not sure what made him say this but her eyes brighten a touch so he continues. "It's been two weeks without our cover bein' blown and I thought we could celebrate with some Dharma beer on the water."

"Hmm, change the Dharma beer to Dharma wine," Juliet tells him, turning back to the closet. "It's classier for a date. That's what this is, right?"

James stares at her a moment before his mouth twists in a grin. She's staying. "You got it, Blondie."

**05- boat**

The only person he had ever truly loved had died in his arms and he is not going to lose anyone else, not today. Hurley is in the corner muttering something about a curse, Jin and Sun are fearfully and frantically speaking in Korean and Kate is writhing in pain, bleeding from the gaping hole in her left shoulder. Jack is blathering on about the Thing that is not really Locke and how he cannot kill them and how they'll all be okay, but James is not paying a damn bit of attention. He's watching the numbers tick down one by one, ticking away the seconds they have left to live, and if Sayid says they can pull the wires and stop the bomb from ever detonating, than it must be true.

(_You hit the bomb? Why? / I wanted you to be able to go home._)

Jack is grabbing a fistful of James's shirt, forcing them to meet eye to eye. "James, we are going to be okay."

(_If she dies, I'll kill him_.)

"You just have to trust me," Jack pleads and James's entire visage darkens.

(_Juliet's dead. She's dead, you son of a bitch, 'cause you were wrong!_)

"Sorry Doc, I don't!"

He's in a boat that's sinking fast, now; literally and metaphorically. The icy cold water rushes in and swallows them whole. He feels as though he's drowning and the irony isn't lost on him; he and the others are dangerously close to that very situation. He watches as Jack directs Hurley and Kate out of the sub (_There is no Sayid!_) and the guilt washes over James once more. He somehow manages to get to his feet, to help Jin free Sun before the submarine gives a final lurch and a giant metallic beam collides with his skull, effectively rendering him unconscious.

The last thing he sees is her golden blonde hair, her radiant smile, her final message of, "It worked."

**06- nausea**

Amy is moaning and groaning with pain, gripping her stomach, asking where Horace is and vowing to never have another baby. The baby's breech; it's nearly impossible to deliver him this way and therefore, she must have a cesarean section. There are scalpels, sutures and an epidural all lying on a cold slab of metal beside her. Juliet shrugs into the scrubs, has flashes of the women and infants she's lost in the past (or, really, in the future) and feels as though she's going to be sick. She apologizes to Amy, turns and heads toward the bathroom, tears falling before she can succumb to her nausea. She can't do this. She can't.

But James's words come to her in an instant- _You've gotta try. You have to help her. You're the only one that can_.

She splashes a bit of water on her face, takes a few deep breaths and returns to Amy's side. No more nonsense; it's time to get down to business. She administers the epidural and watches in the following few minutes as Amy visibly relaxes and calms, the medicine taking full effect. Slicing into her abdomen, Juliet calmly explains that she'll be removing the baby from the amniotic sac, suctioning out the fluid, cutting the umbilical cord. Amy nods, her full trust in Juliet's ministrations. And at the end of it all, there's a seven-pound, ten-ounce crying baby boy and a tearfully happy mother. Amy cradles the baby to her chest once she's been sewn and resting in recovery, thanking Juliet emotionally for all her hard work.

Juliet nods wordlessly, heading out of the delivery room, in search of her own person to thank.

**07- lost**

"Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"I'm head of security, Blondie. You think I don't know every inch of this damn island by now?"

"Well we've passed this same coconut tree three times now. You could tell me where we're going, you know. I know this island better than you."

"That would defeat the purpose of _surprisin'_ you, now wouldn't it?"

"Can you just admit it? We're lost."

"Of course we're lost. We're stuck on this craphole island in the middle of damn nowhere!"

"That's not what I meant, James. Where are you trying to take me?"

"I already told you- it's a surprise. Now you keep lookout for hostiles and I'll deal with finding this place. It's a quarter of a mile off the water and we're about near to that, right?"

"If you're lost, I've got your back, remember?"

"I'm not lost, Juliet."

"So you say."

"Well I'm sorry if everything on this island looks the same. My tracking skills aren't up to speed with Others' knowledge, so if you'll excuse me-"

"James?"

"What?"

"Thank you. Even if we are lost, I needed a day off and this has been really nice."

"Anytime, Blondie. Anytime."

**08- all hands on deck!**

The sunlight floods through the curtain-less windows, warming the bare skin of James's back as morning greets him slowly and languidly. Off in the distance, he hears a lawnmower chewing through a neighbor's overgrown grass and hears Fleetwood Mac on someone else's record player, all signs pointing to the beginning of a new day. His eyes squint slightly in the onslaught of sunlight but he inhales the deep scent of berry shampoo and tightens his grip on the softly slumbering woman beside him.

Juliet stirs slightly and cracks an eye open, noting the glowing numbers on the newfangled digital clock and turning in James's embrace. She snuggles closer to her, resting her head on his chest and saying, "Good morning."

"Good morning to you too," He responds huskily. "Remind me why I have to go into work on a Sunday?"

"You have new recruits, Mr. LaFleur," Juliet smiles against his chest. "You've got to teach those boys how to handle security."

"They'll never learn, Jules," He groans. "This one guy- Phil, I think? He's a twat. Never become anything."

"Don't be like that," Juliet shakes her head, pulling away from him slightly and grinning when he tightens his grip on her, disallowing her to move any further. "You have to go, James."

"Don't wanna," He protests, but she presses a kiss to his lips and manages to slip away from him anyway, telling him if he didn't leave soon, he'd be late.

About a half hour later, he's dressed similar to his recruits in that tan jumpsuit, sunlight glistening on the water beside them. "Mornin' recruits! The name's Jim LaFleur, head of security. I right a tight ship here, so I need all hands on deck, all the time. You with me?"

"Yes, sir!" They reply as if they're a drill team and James nods satisfactorily.

He catches Juliet's eye across the yard and sends her a wink. She smiles proudly in return.

**09- flood**

It's September of 1975 (it's 2005 and it isn't, not really, and James has to stop doing this) and it's the beginning of monsoon season. He remembers this vividly; a year ago (30 years from _now_), Arzt had told them they must leave on their raft before the crashing waves of ocean water took them under. Today, it's pouring raining; Horace frantically issues a lockdown, forcing everyone to stay inside, to get out of the awful weather. James is watching from the window water rushes in seemingly out of nowhere; the sky is so dark it's almost black, even though it's only three in the afternoon.

It's hard to tell where it's all coming from; there's water falling heavily from the billowing clouds above him and water flowing down sidewalks and walkways possibly from the ocean, even though they're so far from it. It's a flash flood and it should dissipate by morning, but still, James's brow is furrowed. Juliet hasn't arrived home yet- to _their_ home, which is new and exciting, still- and at this rate, she may not make it without a boat. Suddenly, he sees her wading through the knee-deep water, getting pelted with raindrops the size of baseballs, her navy blue jumpsuit darkening even further. It takes ages, but she finally reaches their house, sunny yellow in contrast to the very dark day, and he yanks open the door and pulls her inside.

She's shivering when he touches her, slamming the front door and shielding them from nasty island elements. Her lips are turning blue and her golden blonde hair is dark and soaked, plastered to her forehead and neck. He disappears into the bathroom and returns with two giant fluffy towels, wrapping them around her once she struggles but succeeds in pulling the jumpsuit off. She's dripping onto the carpet and cringes when she notices this, but James shrugs it off, pulling her into a warm embrace. She closes her eyes against him, listens to the rhythmic beat of his heart, and feels instantly at peace.

"Welcome home, sunshine," He murmurs against her dampened hair and, if possible, she grins even more.

**10- anchor**

He had once told Kate that there was nothing on the island worth staying for.

It wasn't true, not really; he just hadn't known it yet. If someone had told James that the Others would capture him and keep him in some polar bear cage with Kate for three weeks, he would've called this person insane. If that same person had told him that he and Kate would have pity sex in that same cage, escape thanks to some blonde chick and paddle across the cerulean ocean away from Hydra Island to their own, he would've been even more skeptical. And yet still, if this person had told him that this very same blonde chick would soon be his girlfriend and they'd be living in the Dharma Initiative 30 years in the past, James would call this person certifiable.

But all these things had happened and Juliet soon becomes the reason James is still here. He could very easily hop the submarine that arrives every six months, just as she always wanted, and depart this very island never to return. But something about Juliet, something about his relationship with her made him want to stay. It's funny, really; before her, he'd wanted nothing more than to depart the island. _There ain't nothing on this island worth staying for_, he bitterly told Kate one evening. But then, something changed; _everything_ changed. He loves Juliet more than anyone he's ever loved in his life and he'd stay on this island forever if it meant being with her.

She's his rock, his anchor, his reason for staying on this godforsaken, hopeless island. He doesn't want to leave, not now, not ever.

It isn't until after he's buried her that he changes his mind.

**11- shipwrecked**

It's his day off and Juliet has to take one of the Dharma vans out for a test run anyway, so for some morbid reason, they decide to drive out past the pylons and end up at the Black Rock. The Dharma van grumbles a little, but it isn't too bent out of shape; they park a few feet away and sit on the hood like teenagers at a drive-in movie. They're staring at the Black Rock, shoulders touching and sipping from identical Dharma water bottles, not even shocked anymore that this is their life. James nods towards the hull of the broken down ship and asks, "How long you think this has been here?"

"Long," Juliet replies. "The carpentry is ancient; that puts it in the 1800s, at the earliest."

"Damn," James shakes his head. "How come no one's found it? Horace, Radzinsky, anyone?"

"Maybe they haven't been looking," Juliet says. "Richard came to the island on this ship, you know."

"No," James utters. "I didn't know. How do you?"

"Others 101," She jokes and James smiles.

"How old _is_ he? He don't look a day over thirty-five," James recollects. "Of course the eyeliner don't help."

"He's really old," Juliet says softly, her eyes trailing over the battered stern of the ship, the holes in the aging and decaying wood. "It must have been terrifying. I can't imagine."

James imagines a ship crashing through mile-high waves and breaking nearly in half on the reef of the island. He shakes his head and instead says, "Me neither."

**12- devastation**

"_I love you, James! I love you so much!"_

"_No! No, don't let go! No! Juliet!"_

His entire body shakes with sobs as he calls after her to no avail. He watches uselessly as metallic objects continue to fall down after her into the swan shaft, pinging and clanging against the sides as they go. James half-crawls into the opening, sobs breaking his voice in two and tears clouding his vision, determined to go after her. He's barely aware of Kate calling his name, telling him to get away, and of Jack, grabbing his shoulders, forcing him off of the tower as the entire support gives away, crashing down on top of her.

He's beyond devastated; screaming, heaving, pushing against and away from Jack and Kate until an explosion rings in his ears and he knows the bomb has gone off. When he awakens, still in his Dharma jumpsuit bathed in grief and in guilt, and manages, with a glimmer of hope, to get down to her, she greets him with a tired smile and shouts in unimaginable pain as he pries the metal beams off of her broken body. He's content to just hold her, to cradle her against his body because he was sure he'd never get the chance to do so again, but he knows he has to get her out of here if she has any chance of living. He has to get her to Jack and how's that for irony? The very person who sent her down this shaft is the one person who could save her life.

"We should get coffee sometime… We could go Dutch," Juliet murmurs softly, her voice scratchy and raw.

James's eyes flood once more and he gently supports her head, bringing her cool blue eyes to meet his. "Juliet? It's me."

"James…" Her lips, bloodied, battered and bruised, form. "Kiss me."

Tears threaten to spill, but he is helpless to deny her. "You got it, Blondie."

All her effort, all her energy, is poured into this kiss and it's over too soon and not soon enough and when she speaks again, her eyes are closed as if she's already gone. "I have to tell you something," She says, so quiet he can barely hear her. "It's really, really important."

James waits and waits for her to respond, for her to tell him what could possibly be so important at a time like this, but her lips move slightly, carefully, one last time before stilling and she never gets the chance. James feels it; he literally feels the life pour out of her and pulls her into his arms even tighter, as if he could transfer some of his life into her. Salty, crystalline tears soak her bloodied scalp as his body shakes with grief. He's despondent, despaired, and sure he will never feel whole again. Her words are still ringing in his ears- _I wanted you to be able to go home._

But he won't and he can't; his home will always be with her.

**13- stranded**

When Juliet first arrived on the island, everything had actually been picture perfect, for a time. She loved the weather and the atmosphere and everyone had been incredibly nice and welcome to her. Ben Linus was a bit strange, no doubt, but for six months, she was sure she could endure him. Then, all of her subjects and patients were dying; her research was not going well and when six months ended, she was more than ready to go home. Ben had forced her to stay and that was when she realized she wasn't a guest here, she wasn't here just for research; she was stranded.

It's something she's been feeling ever since six months became three years. She hasn't found anyone who feels the same, not even the survivors of Oceanic 815. Many of them would like to go home, but most of them are perfectly pleased where they are. Now, as she's standing over the already growing cold body of Danny Pickett and watching Kate cry over walkie-talkie to Jack, Juliet, without removing her hands from the gun, slides her gaze over to James- the con man, she remembers, from his extensive file. They'd had sex, Ben told her, only a few hours earlier, and yet here she was, clearly more attached to Jack than James.

Juliet watches James's face, watches as he looks away from Kate and down towards the warm sand. She's not unintelligent; she knows this man feels something for Kate, something that obviously isn't returned. His hands clench and unclench and he glances nervously out towards the horizon, clearly looking for an escape route and failing to understand what was happening to him. When all else fails, he glances to the expansive, endless blue ocean; something Juliet has done many, many times before. He's stuck, stranded, just as she is, and is looking for a way out.

Juliet continues to watch him silently but wonders if maybe they have more in common than she'd previously thought.

**14- the middle of nowhere**

"Do you ever wish you hadn't gotten on that plane?"

It's a sweltering hot summer night in July of 1976 and James and Juliet are lounging, mostly naked, in the hammock behind their house. They'd spent the day lazing in the crystal blue waters of the ocean and had collapsed only an hour earlier into the hammock, still in their bathing suits. The question startles him because, for the most part, they don't talk about their lives before Dharmaville. But she's glancing up at him expectantly and so he knows he'll have to find an answer eventually. He thinks a moment and then shakes his head. "Nah. I'm always up for an adventure, Blondie."

"But you would still be at home, living your life…" Juliet trails off. "You don't want that?"

"Sure, it'd be nice to not be stranded on some godforsaken island in the middle of nowhere. It'd be nice to not be stuck in '76, 'cause I'm eight-years-old out there, somewhere," He says and Juliet smiles. "But if I didn't get on that plane, I wouldn't have met you."

"That's true," Juliet sighs and closes her eyes. "I miss my sister. I wish I could've been there when she gave birth. I want to meet Julian."

These are all sore subjects for her and James is surprised she's talking so willingly and casually about them tonight. He holds her extra tight, just in case. She then says, "But if I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere away from my family, I'm glad it's with you."

He grins. "I love you, Jules."

"I love you, too."

**15- the "natives"**

They're spending the day at the beach, which is strange considering they had lived on one for months and now a few weeks away from one and they already miss the warm sand, the calm surf, the blinding blue water melting into the endless horizon. They aren't even there for an hour before a call comes in from security detailing a hostile situation in the west valley. James and Juliet reluctantly pack the Jeep and head home, which again is strange because how is it that they've been there a month and they're already considering Dharmaville home? Juliet is quiet on the drive back, watching the greens and browns fly, and James raises his voice a little, over the roar of the motor, to ask her a question.

"These hostiles," He says. "They're the beginnings of the Others?"

Juliet doesn't turn to look at him, only says, "Your guess is as good as mine."

"What, you don't recognize any of 'em?" He is genuinely surprised and she rolls her eyes.

"Before my time, James. I came to this island in 2001."

"But they're native to the island, then," He states, though it's more of a question. "The hostiles, I mean."

"I guess so," Juliet turns. "They've been here as long as I can remember and as far as I know."

"How'd they get here?" James wonders aloud. "People don't just sprout from the ground like trees."

"The island brought them here," Juliet states matter-of-factly. "That's what everyone told me."

James smirks and drives on. "Island brought 'em here, my ass."

**16- white flag**

He promised himself he would never love again, after Kate.

Love had never proved promising for him in the past. Granted, he hadn't loved many women. He could count them on hand, for that matter. Cassidy had been first but look how that turned out. He hadn't planned on falling for her, hadn't planned on starting a _family_ with her, but alas, he'd unknowingly done both. Then Kate; he hadn't realized he loved her until it was too late. She hadn't loved him, though; she'd been using him and it was okay, honestly. He'd done that to plenty of women before. But that didn't mean it felt good to be on the receiving end.

But he finds himself falling in love with Juliet after just a month or so in Dharmaville. She hadn't mentioned leaving again; instead, they'd moved in together, become an item, worked in the Dharma Initiative and pretended that nothing was wrong. James loves to watch Juliet read- _Carrie_, usually, and it's entertaining because she knows most of it by heart- and loves to listen to her sing under her breath as she cooks dinner or does the laundry. He loves watching the color of her eyes change with her mood- bright and clear and happy, calm and blue like the ocean, dark and stormy like the sky. Still, he thinks most of these things are just quirks he's noticing; he tries to tell himself he isn't falling in love, not this time.

Eventually, though, he knows it's inevitable. He goes to pick up a Dharma van one day for security detail and finds her bent over another sky blue van, up to her elbows in grease, oil smeared on her nose. She has a pair of goggles on and a bandanna tying back her long, flowing hair. Reaching into the engine, she pulls out a small metallic gizmo, chucks it over her shoulder and dives back in. James chuckles and realizes this small act, this tiny bit she just performed, is one of the most adorable things he's ever seen. He gives in; he's in love with her.

Walking up behind her, he wraps his arms around her waist and she jumps in response. Turning in his arms, she grins excitedly and kisses him quickly on the lips. She chuckles slightly when she realizes this little action smeared a few spots of oil on him as well. Wiping it away, Juliet goes to say something, but James shakes his head, leaning closer to say, "I love you, grease monkey."

Juliet leans back in his embrace and laughs out loud. She has tears of mirth in her eyes when she says, "I love you too, James!"

**17- truce**

His head is pounding when he awakens and his vision blurs a moment before clearing. It's pitch black, the only light coming from the glistening moon and the glittering stars, as he lies in a wet-sand cavern, his clothes still soaking wet and sticking to his body. For a moment, he forgets everything that's happened. But he hears Hurley weeping and Kate groaning in pain a few feet away and remembers instantly.

Slowly, he pulls himself to a sitting position and grabs his skull in pain. That beam must've hit him good; he has a giant bump on his head and a long trail of blood trickling down his cheek. He glances around, notices Sun and Jin had not made it out either, and swears colorfully. It's his fault Sayid is dead and it's his fault Jin and Sun had drowned; James groans and lets a few wet tears slide down his cheeks. Moments later, he feels a presence next to him and turns just in time to see Jack slide into the sand beside him. He's the last person James wants to talk to right now; he shrugs away from Jack's concerned gaze.

"You okay?"

"Just damn peachy," James grumbles and Jack looks back out towards the sea.

"Kate told me you wanted to kill me after… After Juliet died," Jack says quietly. "After I got her killed. Why didn't you?"

James is quiet a minute before responding angrily, "You deserved to live with that. You deserved to feel as guilty as I do."

"It isn't your fault," Jack states and James snorts in response. "If you want to blame me, blame me. But it isn't your fault she's dead. I assumed… I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought what Faraday said was right and I thought that we could all go back to the way things were before the crash."

"You were wrong," James sneers. "You were wrong and Juliet had to pay for it."

"I know," Jack looks down at his hands a moment before catching James's eye. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, James."

He stands and goes back toward Kate and Hurley, but James calls out to him, "Hey Doc?"

When Jack turns, James says, "I should've listened to you. On the sub. I'm sorry, too."

Jack nods and so does James and this says more than they ever will.

**18- salvation**

They end up making it just in time. James climbs aboard the rumbling airplane and helps pull Claire and Kate in after him. Richard and Miles slam the door shut behind them and Lapidus shouts for them to buckle up. Kate and Claire amble mindlessly down the aisle, click their seatbelts together and clasp hands tightly, Claire emotional over leaving, Kate still emotional over Jack. James is feeling hollow; it doesn't feel right to be leaving. Not yet. Not without her.

_We're building a runway._

_Runway for what?_

_For the aliens._

James glances out the window, watches the island as it flies by him, faster and faster, as they amble down the makeshift runway. Tears fill his eyes, hot and painful, as he tries to imagine her beside him. All she'd ever wanted was to go home and now she'd never get the chance. When they finally take off, building and building, ascending into the sky, James lets the tears fall and faces the window to fill himself with the sight of the island for the last time. He'd been there for three years, she'd been there for six. She always wanted to go home, he never wanted to leave. She'll never get the chance, he's leaving _now_. He thinks about her with the Others, building this runway so long ago.

_I wanted you to be able to go home_.

James's voice is strained and raw as he closes his eyes and whispers, "Thank you, Juliet."

**19- olive branch**

They're kissing in the kitchen, dinner forgotten, in celebration of the day. Juliet still has butterflies in her stomach- although this could also be partly because of _him_- when she thinks about it. The baby is okay, Amy is okay; _everyone_ is okay. This had never happened before; every baby she's delivered on this island has either been stillborn or has died shortly after birth. Every mother is lost somewhere in between dilation and stage three labor. She's glad everything worked out, glad she had someone there to push her, someone who believed in her. No one ever had before.

They pull away and James lifts her up and spins her in circles. She feels like she's flying, her hair cascading behind her, and she stumbles a little when he puts her down again. She doesn't fall though; he makes sure of that by tightening his grip on her waist. He's gazing at her with all the love in the world and it's suddenly all too much. Juliet glances away momentarily, at the spaghetti cooling in the colander, the boiling water now reduced to nothing, and the sauce, long since done, on the stove. She somehow finds her voice, "Dinner's getting cold, James."

"Screw dinner," He shrugs. "Let's go out and celebrate."

She laughs. "Go where? The rec center? The motor pool? Our dating venues are limited. Plus, we are celebrating- there's wine."

He leaves her grasp a moment to enter the dining room, eyeing the bottle of merlot on the table. "Ooh, fancy. I guess this'll do for now."

James expertly pours the wine into two glasses and hands one to her, clinking his against her own. "Congratulations on your first successful delivery. You earned it, baby. I knew you could do it all along."

Juliet smiles warmly and sips at her wine, insides warm and fuzzy though it has nothing to do with the alcohol. "Thank you, James. I love you."

"Yeah?" He grins. "Well, I love you back."

**20- swimming**

Once a month, James, Juliet, Miles and Jin take a day off from their comfortable Dharmaville duties and head back to beach, back to where their camp used to be. Occasionally they'll visit with Rose and Bernard, but the married couple does not enjoy getting involved in what the call they group's "nonsense." Instead, they'll pack a picnic lunch and drive the all-terrain Dharma Jeep out past the pylons and the hostiles to their old beach and talk about what would have been where. James draws with a stick in the sand where his tent used to be, Juliet watches Jin kick at clotted seaweed beside his and Sun's designated spot, and Miles makes a bunch of sarcastic comments about the area that will, eventually, become the group's graveyard.

After lunch, Jin decides to go fishing; it was his major contribution, back then (or, 30 years from now, really), and he truly misses it. Miles protests being stuck with the "lovebirds," so he follows and asks Jin to teach him everything he knows. Juliet slips off her sundress, revealing a turquoise bikini, and walks toward the ocean, determined on swimming even though the seas are a bit rough today. She wades in the tumultuous surf for a little while before heading even deeper, much to James's dismay.

"Hold on, Blondie, you're not drownin' and leavin' me with those two yahoos," He calls after her, tearing off his shirt and diving in after her. "Live together, die alone, right?"

She's backstroking in a perfect diagonal but still chuckles at him. "I won't drown. I'm a very good swimmer."

"Yeah?" He questions. "You a former Olympian or somethin'?"

"Or something," She smiles, bending and performing a somersault to flip herself over. "It's a beautiful day. I wish the seas weren't so rough."

"Must be monsoon season soon," James comments quickly and then says, "All this time we lived on the beach, I never went swimming. Didn't see the point."

"Really?" Juliet remarks and when he nods, she adds, "It's nice though, right?"

"Yeah," He grins at her. "Real nice."

**21- diving for treasure**

"Have you told Juliet you're leaving?"

James frowns. "I ain't leavin', Miles. I'm comin' back in a week."

"Yeah but how are you going to explain being away for that long?" Miles pesters. "And isn't getting off this stupid island the only thing she's ever wanted?"

"Yeah, that's why we ain't tellin' her," James threatens. "You're gonna tell her I'm doing security detail in the north valley and I'll be gone a week. Got it?"

"Okay, okay," Miles holds up his hands in defense. "But where _are_ you going, really?"

"It's a secret," James says and climbs into the submarine.

He's surprised to find Pierre Chang inside and the man stops him. "LaFleur! What brings you down here?"

"I need to do a little shopping on the mainland," James says simply and Pierre chuckles.

"I'm sure anything you need you'll find right here," He states. "What is it your looking for?"

James hesitates a moment before saying, "An engagement ring. I'm gonna ask Juliet to marry me."

The submarine dives deeper and deeper into the depths of the ocean, but James's determination does not wane.

**22- the deep end**

About six months into their lives at Dharmaville, with Jin picking up English rapidly, James and Juliet becoming an established couple, and Miles following James's every movement like a loyal puppy, it becomes very obvious that Daniel is beginning to lose it. He obsesses over toddler Charlotte, writes equations incessantly in his marble notebook, and tries his hardest to figure out how to get the group back to the prime timeline. One morning, a Saturday, James and Juliet are just finishing off breakfast when Jin and Miles come barging into their home.

"Knocking might help ya next time," James groans. "What gives?"

"Jim, Juliet," Miles acknowledges and Juliet smiles at him from the sink. "We've got a problem."

"What's wrong?" Juliet asks in concern, drying her dripping hands on the nearby dishtowel and coming to sit beside James on the couch.

"It's Daniel," Jin says in his accented English. "He's gone crazy."

"We're not shitting you," Miles states upfront. "The guy has gone off his rocker. He's talking about some kind of incident that will bring us back to 2004. He says he needs to go to Ann Arbor to do more research."

James and Juliet share a glance, the former saying, "Let him go."

"Are you crazy?" Miles explodes. "You want to let that nut-job out into the real world?"

"James is right, Miles," Juliet agrees. "Daniel may have gone off the deep end, but he's dealing with a lot of grief and confusion right now. If he wants to leave, we can't stop him."

"Great," Miles sighs and gets up to leave, Jin following suit. "I knew going to these two was the wrong idea."

James shrugs as the door shuts behind them. "One less nutcase I gotta deal with."

Juliet smirks. "Who knows? Maybe this 'incident' will actually work?"

**23- bit off more than you can chew**

It's July of 1977 when they finally return. James yanks off his glasses and stares at the figures Jin's brought into the north valley. Jack, Kate, Hurley- they're all there, in the flesh. Angry waves of seawater crash against the cliff they're standing upon and suddenly, James is filled with a surge of anger. It isn't like he's not pleased to see his friends- he is and he's glad they're all alive and okay- but he can't help but want to scream, _No! You can't be here! This is my home, my life, and you'll ruin it!_ He shakes this off and instead heads home to formulate a plan.

Juliet is still there when he returns and asks what's wrong. James tells her, simply, "They're back."

And she looks crushed, but tries to hide it as best she can when she offers a solution- there's a sub arriving at noon with a whole slew of new recruits.

For the next week, she watches sadly as James races around trying to deal with the messes Jack, Kate and Hurley are causing, to keep Sayid alive, to keep the pretense that everything is still cool with the Dharma Initiative's favorite head of security. She wishes, angrily, that they had never come. They were perfectly happy with the life they had here; three years, now, with the Dharma Initiative and not one problem. The cavalry returns to town and suddenly, there's a problem every other day. Juliet watches James try to fix each and every one and her frustration grows. One night, as they're lying in bed, she whispers, "It's over, James. Our happy little life in Dharmaville. It's over."

"It ain't over yet, Blondie," He insists. "Just you wait. I can handle this. I can do it."

"James, I love you," She tells him honestly. "And I love our life here, but this is too much. We need to move on. We need to leave."

"And just how do you suppose we do that?" He asks, genuinely seeking an answer.

She pauses and then sinks back against the pillow. "I don't know."

"Well, you keep tryin' to think of an answer," James says. "In the meantime, I'm gonna fix this. You'll see."

"You sound like Jack," Juliet says angrily and only after the words leave her mouth does she regret it.

"I _ain't_ Jack," James huffs, pulling away from her and turning to face the wall. "But you're more than welcome to go to him if you think he's got a better solution."

Juliet closes her eyes, shielding the tears in her eyes, and only after she hears James's even breathing does she let them fall.

**24- drowning**

Even in his dreams, he never catches her on time. Sometimes he gets there too late and she slips down before he can grab her hand. Sometimes he gets there in time to yank the chains off of her torso, but somehow, she still falls into the swan shaft anyway. Sometimes it happens exactly like it actually did; her palm sweaty in his own, he's screaming for her not to leave him, not to let go, she's professing her love for him over and over before plummeting to her death. He always awakens then, her screams of terror and pain still fresh in his ears, and when he glances around, he realizes he's not on the island anymore. He's in his gloomy bachelor pad and Juliet is long since gone.

He awakens tonight in a cold sweat a little after three a.m. He can't stop shaking; he smells coconuts, lemon juice and motor oil all the time now, whether he's thinking of her or not. James pushes all the covers to the left side of the bed- _her_ side of the bed, always has been, always will be- and curls into the fetal position facing the wall. He feels as though the weight of the world is sitting on his chest, as though he's drowning but there's no water. He's suffocating under feelings that he doesn't want, not really. But if the alternative is losing memory of her, forgetting the remarkable Juliet Burke ever existed, he'll take these horrible nightmares any day.

He keeps hoping one of these times he'll catch her. One of these times, he might save her life.

**25- doggy style**

"You can't call it that," Miles doubles over in laughter. "And expect to be taken seriously."

"I don't see what's wrong with that," Juliet glances from Miles to Jin, who's also fighting to keep a straight face. She rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her glass of ice water before saying, "That's how you swim! Didn't you ever take swimming lessons?"

Miles, still in hysterics, clutches a stitch in his side and cannot answer. James enters the rec center then and after dropping a kiss onto Juliet's forehead, asks, "What's so funny?"

"Juliet… Juliet…" Miles is nearly crying he's laughing so hard. "I can't. I can't!"

"Juliet says Miles swims wrong," Jin explains, still smiling. "She called it-"

"Doggy style! Doggy style!" Miles shouts in laughter and cracks himself up again.

Juliet shrugged. "It's doggy paddling. That's what I meant."

James cracks a grin before swatting at Miles's arm. "Grow up, Miles. Damn. You have the mind of a twelve-year-old."

Miles composes himself long enough to flip James and Juliet the bird, saying, "If you had heard her say it, you would've laughed, too."

**26- salt**

James is grumbling and angry as he walks home from work that evening, a balmy one at the end of May of '76. Nothing had gone right for him that day and he was more than ready to relax with a Dharma beer and read the next chapter of his latest novel. More importantly, he wanted to see Juliet; she always knew how to calm him down with just the slightest of actions. It always amazed him how he could be angry beyond belief, frustrated, frightened, irritated or worried and she could still manage to make everything okay just by being there.

However, when he steps into their bright yellow house, she isn't there.

So instead, he grumbles and bangs pots and slams cabinet doors as he boils water to heat up some leftovers on the stove. He's irrationally angry at her too, now, just because she isn't here. His dinner is halfway done when he feels as though he's being watched. James turns slowly and finds Juliet watching him from the back door of the house; she'd been in the backyard the entire time. From the look of her, it hadn't been the easiest of days for her either and James, dinner forgotten, crosses the room to embrace her.

"I didn't hear you get home," Juliet tells him as he wraps his arms around her. "Not until you started banging things."

"Sorry 'bout that," He half-heartedly apologizes, working the muscles of her shoulders. "You're really tense."

She nods in agreement. "Mm, so are you."

He pulls back slightly to kiss her which she responds to eagerly. He chuckles against her lips and says, "You taste salty."

Juliet grins. "So do you."

**27- spray**

Juliet decides at the end of April to do some outdoor spring cleaning, considering their house is looking a little worn and dirty from the elements. The LaFleurs- yes their Dharma neighbors call them that and no, Juliet doesn't mind- are some of the few people who haven't been washing down their house, actually. Jin had done so ages ago and Miles, ever the bargainer, had paid Phil to do it. So that sunny and warm Saturday, Juliet unravels the long winding hose from the hook on the south side of their house and begins cleaning.

She washes the windows first; they're the dirtiest part of the whole house, she thinks, as the water runs brown down the sunny yellow siding. That is, until she gets the gutters and roof, which are so caked with gunk she has to turn the water on full blast to get it all cleaned. By the time she gets to the siding, she's worn and tired; it's nearly lunchtime and James is bound to be back from security detail any minute. She decides to take a break and collapses onto a porch chair, quickly falling asleep.

She's awoken with a start a few moments later; before she can register what's happened, she's piecing the incident together slowly and backwards. She's wet, now. The hose is still running. James is standing a few feet away from her, hose in hand, grinning like a fool. She can barely get out a threat before he's spraying her again and she's leaping off the porch and sprinting around the side of the house. She grabs the bucket of soapy water from before, but he's quicker and sneaks up behind her, startling her into dropping the bucket and watching as it soaks into the grass beneath them.

James hooks an arm around her torso and sticks the hose under the neck of her tank top, grinning as she shivers with the cold water dripping down her back. She struggles against him but manages to turn around in his grasp, threatening, "You'll pay for that later."

He kisses her passionately instead. She's speechless a moment before saying, "Well, that's a start."

**28- drenched**

Their first kiss happens exactly like something out of a movie. James claims three days into their living at Dharmaville that they need to find pieces of a shipwrecked boat- or at least fabricate them- to show Horace that they weren't making up their backstory. No one volunteers to go with him into the jungle, so once again, James asks Juliet if he still has her back. She does, she always will, so she follows him. They find a few sketchy-looking pieces of driftwood and, oddly, a piece of rubber tarp that could just as easily have been from a life raft and call it a day.

On the way back to the pylons, James and Juliet begin to playfully banter about their own backstories. James says he's going to be the leader of a group of historians looking for the historic Black Rock, Juliet says she's going to be an ethnographer looking to do a study on how primitive island inhabitants live. They joke and tease each other and wonder who's story Horace will believe when seemingly out of nowhere, thunder rumbles from above and the clouds open in pelting rain right before them. They're soaked to the bone in mere seconds and somehow this makes everything oddly more intimate.

"If this was some cheesy romantic comedy, we'd be kissing by now," Juliet quips and she really doesn't know what makes her say it, but James grins and steps closer.

"Well, wouldn't want to ruin your expectations, now would I?" He asks rhetorically and then bends forward and presses his lips firmly against hers. It's eager and warm, yet soft and gentle, and neither one of them is going to pretend they didn't see this coming. They're kissing in the rain in the middle of freaking nowhere because, well, why not? What did they have to lose here, of all places?

"Actually," James says when the need for air becomes apparent. "I like to think we're more of an action-adventure than a rom-com."

Juliet laughs and says, "Eh, I'll take it."

**29- about-face**

James has to wonder where this is all coming from. A minute ago, Juliet had been all for stopping Jack from blowing up the island and now she suddenly wants him to do so? He races after her as she tears off into the jungle, stomping past trees and bushes and ignoring him as he calls after her. He grabs her arm and she wrenches it away as if he's burned her; he holds up his hands in defense and wonders where in the world the _real_ Juliet Burke is, because this one, this angry, hurt and confused one is a complete 180 to the strong and selfless one he's in love with.

She gives a ridiculous story about people being in love and not being meant to be and then brings up Kate and it's all bullshit, really. It's all an excuse. James watches her, this beautifully broken woman who's been through a world of shit, deconstruct right in front of his eyes. She's never had anyone who's loved her unconditionally, who's accepted her flaws and believed in her; not until him, anyway. She thinks she doesn't deserve it; assumes since everyone has left her in the past that he'll leave her too. And James sees this; he sees all of it being laid out right in front of him, because she can sense she's losing and she'd much pull away from him than cling on and get hurt.

James loves her more than anyone he's ever loved in his life. That's a given. That's obvious, but maybe it isn't obvious enough to her. He asks, "Why are you doing this, Juliet?"

She can't look at him when she says, "If I never meet you, then I'll never have to lose you."

But it's only a few short moments later that the entire situation flips on its axis. She's screaming as she's dragged into the swan shaft, he's gripping onto her with all his might. He begs her not to go, not to leave him; he doesn't want to be alone. He doesn't want to be without her- not now, not ever. She tells him it's okay, she loves him, it's okay, she loves him so much. She repeats this like a mantra (_years from now, it still won't get out of his head_) and lets go and James feels his entire world shatter to pieces. Tears flood from his eyes like a hurricane. He's losing her, he loses her, he's lost her.

_If I never meet you, then I'll never have to lose you_.

But _he_ had to lose _her_. How's that for irony?

**30- floating**

"Kiss me, James!"

"You got it, Blondie."

Tears are in his bright green eyes and are already falling from her blue ones. A lifetime together, a lifetime apart; they are finally reunited. He kisses her like she's the last person he'll ever want to kiss and she always has been. The darkened, intimate waiting room is inviting to the long-lost couple, who only hours ago didn't know the other existed. But they're here now; they're together now and now, everything makes sense. Now, everything will be okay because they're together again and nothing and no one can break them apart.

James pulls Juliet closer, holds her tighter, kisses her harder because he simply cannot get enough of her. He remembers all too well the nights of loneliness and despair, of waking up in a cold sweat with his fingers trembling and his body shaking, still not fast enough, not quick enough to save her life. He remembers drinking in their Dharmaville home, cradling the engagement ring she'd never wear, creating faux memories they'd never have. He remembers reconciling with Cassidy and Clementine following his return home and counting all the times Clem had told him she loved him and all the times Juliet never would. He remembers still dreaming about her golden hair and winning smile long after both things were viciously ripped from his grasp.

But most of all, he remembers cuddling in their warm Dharmaville bed, hosing down their sunny yellow home, snuggling in their hammock under the dark blanket of stars. He remembers the smell of her coconut shampoo and the motor oil caked into her skin that no amount of showering could ever truly wash clean. He remembers her singing along to the record player as she washed the dishes or cooked dinner and remembers her preening his name as they made love into the wee hours of the morning. He remembers her smile, her laugh, her voice. He remembers her wit, her sarcasm, her intellect. He remembers her love and he remembers _their_ love and he remembers how she is the only woman he has ever loved as fully and as wholly as he can.

He remembers her. He remembers Juliet Burke and that's all that matters, now.

Juliet is so wrapped up in his embrace that she is barely aware of her surroundings. She wants everything she couldn't have before; birthdays, weddings, babies and a family. She wants court dates and sweet sixteens and learning to drive. She wants Christmas cookie baking and pumpkin carving and cooking turkey on Thanksgiving. She wants James and all that James can give her. She wants love. She wants him. She wants a future- something she never thought she would ever see.

She both remembers her death and doesn't remember it; it's all a bit of a blur, now. It's hazy and confusing, but she does remember him. James will always be her strongest memory. She grips him tighter and holds him closer and realizes, a bit comically, that he still smells like the ocean. She inhales deeply, surrounding herself with the familiar scent of salty seawater and that certain new-book smell. He still smells exactly how she remembers; of comfort, of love, of home. Juliet would like to keep him to herself for the rest of her life (afterlife?). They didn't get long enough before and she's not giving him up, now.

They had been through their fair share of hardships. They had been broken and lost and despaired. They had been forced to endure more than one couple probably should and were both pushed beyond their limits. They had both lost each other- metaphorically, once, and physically as well- but they had found each other once more. They were back in the protective embrace of love. As James leans in to kiss her once more, Juliet cups his face in her hands, tenderly taking in the fact that he was here and she was here and they were together at last. They were reunited for good this time.

And honestly, because she's not sure if it's the heavenly after life or James's love or some perfect combination of the two, Juliet feels like she's floating.


End file.
